Well it's too bad those FBI lovebirds couldn't get adjoining congressional hearings!
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Star-crossed texters Lisa Page and Peter Strzok are supposedly testifying a day apart about their problematic, emphatic texts that show just how much they hated the president and how they were pretty hell bent on stopping him.
This will be Pete’s second time humping his carcass up the Hill. Last month he was in a closed-door session so he could rehearse his grandstanding for the public performance where he'll try and tug America’s exhausted heart strings doing his best Ollie North impression. Fat chance, Mr. Romance. People will most likely sprain their faces rolling their eyes at predictable spin and cocky wordplay -- which was the band that played at my prom -- as we've grown tired of endless excuses from failed saviors who feel obligated to sell their stale, reheated lies.
Of course these crazy kids could still bail and run away to Mexico. Their lawyers have collective lists of dumb demands as though we owe them a soft landing for their dubious lie-craft. Page's lawyer wants to know the "scope of the investigation." Oh wouldn't that be great, some government transparency? Nah. That doesn't happen anymore. Nowadays it's all competing memos and more fake injuries and political flopping than a World Cup match. Instead, Page and Strzok should be confronted with the same style of questions the special counsel has for the president.
How did you feel when you found out Donald Trump had secured the nomination? What was going through your head on election night, and did Peter make you feel any better when he told you 'we will stop him'? If the Russia investigation is the insurance policy, have we met the deductible, and when will this damn thing be over?
Peter Strzok and Lisa Page hold the key to more than each other's unrequited hearts, and I hope some brave lawmaker is nimble enough to tilt them in the right direction so they finally spill the beans.
Lisa Kennedy Montgomery (Kennedy) joined FOX Business Network (FBN) as a contributor in 2012 and is the host of the primetime program, "Kennedy", which airs Monday through Thursday at 8PM/ET on the FOX Business Network.