It is sweeping the nation and chances are your children, your parents, your friends, co-workers and even you have it. It’s “lotto fever” ladies and gentlemen and the only cure is a $540 million jackpot.
Granted, I have only been legally allowed to play the lotto for five years, but I have never seen such hysteria. The highest prize in history is topping local and national headlines and making the front page of the papers. Lines of hopefuls trying to snag last minute tickets are out the door.
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If you saw yesterday morning’s Facebook video, you already know Stuart is not one of them. And up until 2:30 p.m. on Thursday, neither was I. But then it happened. The Varney & Co. production team started throwing around the idea of doing an office pool, an idea I mocked in the privacy of my mind until it hit me… What if, by some strange force of the Mega Millions universe, they won? What if come Monday morning I was the only one left in the Varney pod while the rest of the crew sipped mai-tais and limboed to obnoxious Caribbean music on a chartered yacht? Of course I kid, no amount of money could stop us from seeing you at 9:20 eastern. Heck, we’d set up a live shot from the deck if we had to, but the thought of missing out was almost too much to bear. It brought me to the realization that quite simply, you have to be in it to win it.
Now let’s face facts people, according to lottery officials the chances of winning are one in 176 million. Yes, you have a greater chance of getting hit by lightning twice in your lifetime then you do of cashing a check with more zeros than a supermodel’s jean collection, but alas, you have a chance. See here is the real fact; that glimmer of hope is truly what the lottery is all about. The idea that if only for one day, you have the chance to wake up a millionaire and a lifetime to decide just how many acres your pool house really needs.
Stuart says “gambling is the most efficient way of taxing the poor,” but I say in this case, gambling is for dreamers. Do you think when 81-year-old grandmother Louise White picked up her ticket at a Rhode Island grocery store she expected to cash in on $336.4 million? Bless her, the woman slept with the winning ticket in her Bible! So just this once, I say dream it you dreamers. Skip the Starbucks, pack your lunch, whip out the ol’ loose change jar and march your behind to the nearest place tickets are sold. And if I played any role in swaying you to do so, remember me when you’re cashing in or at least agree to come on as a guest.
Guess it is time to put my money where my mouth is. Hey, you never know.