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It's Nancy's super-saver summer sale.
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And everything must go!!!
Here's the deal:
Have we got a deal for you.
Because tonight it’s a done deal.
The president just put pen to paper ... And signed the state aid bill only hours after the House approved the $26 billion for states.
It's Congress's one-day sale to end all sales.
A summer sizzler where the pork is piping hot and relax, it's all on our kids and grandkids, so it's cool!!
And today's summer sampler is for all states. All hands. Raise 'em if you want 'em.
But you better move fast. Teachers, firefighters, librarians, librarians' assistants ... Book it if you want to cash in on it.
Because the Speaker's summer scorcher sale won't last forever.
Even though the funds for it seem to go on that way.
Now I know what you're thinking?
This thing really isn't paid for, is it?
Well, technically no, but when has that ever stopped crazy congress, where their prices aren't the only thing that's insane.
So's their math.
Where benefits are never paid for.
And every spending measure is an emergency.
But if you want in on this August gravy, you better pour on over to your nearest congressman's office.
Because he won't be around forever.
In fact, I can kind of guarantee that.
So hurry up because everything's marked down.
Aid to states not getting it done ... Done.
More TARP for another lark? Done!
Jobless benefits maybe another 99 weeks ... Why not?
More stimulus dough to pile on the hundreds of billions of stimulus dough still unspent ... Let's do it.
Because you don't want to pinch yourself tomorrow for what you could have grabbed today.
Your own boondoggle.
Maybe even your own water park.
How about your own government funded study on your mate's mood swings?
Or your coked up monkey's power swings?
Come to Congress.
Where the deals are hot.
And contrary to all you're hearing, the Speaker "ain't" shot.
Hurry, because like I said ... This sale won't last forever.
And come to think about it ... Neither will this Congress.