Well I hope you've stocked up on canned soup and potassium iodide, because it looks like we're all going to die. North Korea's petulant dough ball said in his New Year's speech:
"The entire U.S. mainland is within the range of our nuclear strike, and the button for [a nuclear strike] is always on the table in my office. They should clearly know that this is certainly not a threat but rather a reality."
Oh, liddle rocket man has a liddle nuclear button on his liddle desk. How dear.
Well of course our dear leader and his speedy hotdog thumbs couldn't let that jab fly uncontested, so the president tweeted:
"North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the ‘Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.’ Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”
So now we have a button swingin’ contest, and thousands of people might die because a couple of blowhards are in a Twitter (NYSE:TWTR) fight. So this is either the end of the world as we know it and I don't feel fine, or the president in his maniacal genius stumbling onto the only way to keep the world safe from a nuclear-armed, gouty, Swiss-cheese-gobbling fatty: through a series of demeaning, childish taunts that will someday shame Kim Jong Un to death.
The upside is Kim takes his plutonium ball and sulks off the stage; the downside is we invade North Korea, thousands of Americans and civilians die on the Korean peninsula, Kim lobs every missile he's got from Guam to Vietnam, and we respond with a hail of isotopes that put us on a fast track to Hades.
Just so you know, Mr. President, starting a planet-ending nuclear holocaust is not going to do wonders for your legacy, and it's hard to golf on a glowing, radioactive ash heap.