How to Set Expectations When Family Members Move In 

Dear Dave,

My husband and I have been following your plan, and we’re debt-free. Recently he invited his sister, her husband and their two kids to live with us. His brother-in-law recently lost his job, and he did this without talking to me first. I agreed after the fact, but do you think we need a roommate agreement or some kind of understanding while they stay with us? They have about $70,000 in debt, and they haven’t been very responsible with their money.

-Amanda

Dear Amanda,

I’ve got to tell you there’s zero chance that my wife or I would invite someone to live in our home without the other’s knowledge and agreement. Pulling a stunt like that is just plain wrong, and you two need to get on the same page long before you try to move these people into your house.

Now, once you’ve straightened things out between the two of you, and if you’re both in agreement, you need to understand that your purpose is to help these folks get back on their feet. Your home is not their home, and this is not an offer for them to stay as long as they like.

You’re going to have to ensure that they’re taking the steps necessary to straighten out their lives. This means working, and it means they start managing their money by living on a budget. Don’t charge them rent, because the “rent” will be that they work and go over their finances with you. Plus, you put a limit on the time they’re going to spend with you. Regardless of what happens, they’re out and back on their own by a certain, specific date.

I wouldn’t suggest allowing $70,000 worth of time for them to get back on their feet. I’m thinking maybe four to six months, but don’t let this thing drag on with no definitive end in sight. That will only cause trouble and hard feelings down the road. You guys might be able to pull this off—and keep the relationships intact—if you set fair and loving expectations on the front end.

-Dave

Dear Dave,

I’m following your plan, and I’ve just completed Baby Step 3. I’ve got my emergency fund of three to six months of expenses in place, and I’ve paid off all my debts, except for the house, so I’m ready to tackle investing. I currently have $100,000 in a traditional IRA. Should I convert this to a Roth IRA?

Levi

Dear Levi,

You’ll have to pay taxes on the amount you withdraw, and that will amount to roughly a fourth of what you roll from a traditional IRA to a Roth IRA. If you move $100,000, it will cost you about $25,000 in taxes.

If you have that kind of money saved above your emergency fund, and separate from retirement savings, then yes, I’d convert to a Roth IRA. Don’t cash out your retirement or dip into your emergency fund. And please, please don’t run out and borrow money to make it happen!

The traditional IRA is growing on a tax-deferred basis, while the Roth IRA would grow tax-free. So, if you can pay the taxes out of pocket, I say go for it!

-Dave

* Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 6 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.