5 Sharknado survival tips

As the nation braces for another Sharknado onslaught Wednesday (Syfy network, 9pm eastern), Consumer Reports would like to remind citizens—particularly those in New York City and environs—to be prepared. Some tips to consider:

• Have personal papers stored where you can find them. Consider scanning and uploading them to a cloud-based storage service where they’ll be protected from thrashing tails and toothy jaws.

• Review your insurance. As we’ve mentioned, your homeowners and auto insurance probably would cover a Sharknado, but not an accompanying flood.

• Charge your cell phone and keep it handy. If not for emergency communication, then at least for a unique selfie.

• Get the right chain saw, weapon of choice. Sam Peckinpaw, eat your heart out.

• Make sure your grill is working. There’s likely to be a lotta good mako lying around. (And if not, there’s always swai.)

—Tobie Stanger