Three months ago Nora Santiago was approached by a freelance writer seeking opportunities to write for the publication where she works as managing editor.

Santiago told the prospective employee opportunities at the New York-based Professional Sports Publications wouldn’t be available until May, and encouraged him to check back in three months.

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“But he didn’t listen, and he started driving me crazy,” Santiago said. His behavior was so persistent, some employees now refer to him as the job applicant “from hell.”

Over the course of the next two months, the man e-mailed Santiago every other day, and if he didn’t receive a response within 24 hours, he would follow up with a call. He also acquired the e-mail addresses of five other editorial staff members, and began writing to them, sometimes as often as five times a day.

“He was relentless,” Santiago said. “Even though I politely answered his questions with every intent of hiring him, he was blatantly ignoring my wishes to the point where we just had to cut him off.” 

Santiago said she wouldn’t have minded if the writer had checked in with her every three weeks to remind her that he was anxious for the job. However, there is an “obvious point at which you realize you’re bothering somebody,” and he crossed the line, she said.

The final straw came when he e-mailed Santiago’s boss to ask why the magazine’s staff hadn’t gotten back to him in a timely manner.

“As annoying as he had been, for him to step out of his bounds like that was really shocking,” Santiago said. “Going over our heads was a clear implication that this guy was trying to strong arm us into working with him.”

Behavior of that sort is “career suicide,” according to Chris Russell, founder of SecretsoftheJobHunt.com, a career advice and social networking site.

“You don’t want to be a pest in the eyes of the hiring manager,” Russell said. “It’s important to follow up with people to keep yourself in the loop, but don’t call every day, and don’t complain about them not getting back to you right away. Use common sense.”

Employers are growing more and more picky these days, according to Russell who said skipping electronic correspondence altogether is a good way to make yourself stand out to prospective managers.

“E-mail can get stuck in a spam filter. Everyone does e-mail all day long, and text messages are way too impersonal,” Russell said. “A phone call is good, but going the old school snail mail route is best if you can.”

Even though a job seeker can go too far with correspondence, follow up opportunities should be taken as a chance to let personality shine, according to Russell.

“If you don’t follow up, you are missing a chance to stand out in the manager’s eyes. It’s a must to show the employer that you are passionate about the job, or else they’ll think you’re uninterested,” he said.

Lisa Richey, founder of the American Academy of Etiquette, said that post-interview follow-ups should always be formal and professional.

“Get some nice, thick stationery and mail a thank-you note immediately, the same day as the interview if possible,” Richey said.

Although Richey acknowledged there is more of an expectation of “communicating immediately” in today’s job market, a handwritten note should never be omitted.

“If you want to send a quick e-mail first that says, ‘I enjoyed meeting you,’ that’s perfectly acceptable, but you cannot get away from the personal letter that needs to be typed or handwritten,” Richey said. “It won’t be overkill to do both. I can guarantee it will set you apart as a leader.”

For correspondence sent via snail mail, Richey recommended plain stationery as opposed to something that has teddy bears or roses pictured on it. “This is not a time to let your stationery speak for you,” she said. 

She also encourages job applicants not to let poor handwriting skills stop them from getting a note in the mail. A thank you note should also never exceed four or five lines, according to Richey.

In the case of a job that may be months away from materializing, Richey said to keep up a thoughtful and professional correspondence every three to four weeks.

“When you’re in for an interview, notice the things on the hiring manager’s wall,” she said. “Is their daughter a prize winning soccer player? Do they love horses? Golf? Continue to follow up with newspaper clippings that would be of interest to them and notes that speak to their personal preferences.”

After one month to six weeks, if a prospective employer is not returning e-mail or phone calls, Richey said it’s best to give up and move on. “It’s a two-way street,” she said. “After all, who wants to work for someone who can’t return an e-mail or a phone call?’

Even if an employer doesn’t follow up as promptly as a job candidate would like, it’s no time to get angry, according to Maureen Mackey, co-founder of Mackey & Guasco Staffing in Darien, Conn.

“Companies do owe candidates some sort of communication back,” Mackey said, “But candidates have to understand it takes employers a while to circle back because of the volume of what’s happening in their businesses day-to-day. Sometimes I can’ physically get back to everyone within 24 hours.”

Mackey said while candidates have to be persistent, some people’s behavior approaches “stalker” intensity that can be frightening and downright rude.

“People who call me and e-mail me in the same day are obnoxious. You have to think about it like dating. If you don’t get a call back, don’t then call again to say that you are annoyed. Be nice,” she said. A candidate’s best plan of attack is to be “mannerly, respectful and classy,” she said.

But being classy doesn’t mean being shy, according to Tony Beshara, author of Acing the Interview: How to Ask and Answer the Questions That Will Get You the Job.

“You can never be too aggressive, but you can be stupid,” Beshara said. “You can be overbearing, and call and say, ‘What the hell is wrong with you? I need a job!’ But if you call and say, ‘I’m anxious for the opportunity,’ that’s another story.”

Most candidates, Beshara said, are not aggressive enough. “Most people don’t push hard enough at all. My opinion is, you got nothing now, what the hell? If you push [an employer] to the point where they say you’re obnoxious, then so be it, you’ve still got nothing. But if they admire your drive, then you’ve got a job.”

Beshara recounted a story of a man who called three times a day to ask for a job. At first, the employer said the man was too eager, but later hired him. “The thought was, if he’s this aggressive with me, he’ll be this aggressive with my customers,” Beshara said, adding that the level of aggression in pursuing a job often depends on the job itself. A candidate seeking a position in sales could afford to be more persistent than on seeking a position at an elementary school, for example.

Joyce Lain Kennedy, author of "Job Interviews for Dummies", said job seekers of all professions should ask themselves a question before following up with a prospective employer.

“Does this move further support my objective as being judged as the best value candidate for the position?” Kennedy said. “If you’re young and lacking experience, you will need a heavy dose of enthusiasm. But if you are going for a senior level job, allow yourself to be wooed a bit. Don’t be hard to get, but be hard to be taken for granted,” she said.

Before leaving an interview, Kennedy said job seekers should “prop the door open for follow up,” and ask questions such as, “May I contact you if I have further questions,” and “Do you prefer e-mail or phone?”

Kennedy said candidates should think of the whole interview experience as books on a shelf, with their resume as one bookend, and their follow-up thank you letter as the other end. “Both are incredible self-marketing tools,” she said.

Regardless of what position a candidate is applying for, or how far up the corporate ladder they are looking to climb, Kennedy said attitude is key.

“Candidates who are assertive and enthusiastic will always be thought of first,” she said.