One recent day I was having a conversation with a good friend who has a four-bedroom suburban house with a two-car garage, a finished basement, and a sprawling yard with a pool with two conversation areas. It’s a beautiful home for her and her husband and four children and they are good, hardworking people. They also have the requisite SUVs and a vacation home.

We were talking about furniture for her living room and she mentioned she was going to add a television in there as well. I was surprised and asked her how many TVs were already in the house.

“Six,” she replied.

“One for every member of the family and you’re adding another?” I said.

She defended her choice and I made clear I wasn’t trying to judge that choice, but rather marvel at what we’ve become in America. While this is, blessedly, not an example of a family that has been hit hard by the latest economic crisis, it is a classic example of what so many families in America “look” like in the material realm. Cars, phones, video games, TVs, iPods, sneakers, camps. These folks are lining blocks and blocks of our neighborhoods and there’s no outward sign which ones are living within their means and which ones are in debt up to their eyeballs.

So it is no wonder that rampant layoffs are a much bigger disaster than they would be if our nation wasn’t so darned comfortable with living life on credit. It is almost a given that a layoff will be a blow to the ego and that individuals will respond in a myriad of ways. Who needs the extra stress of being woefully unprepared for that rainy day?

It is my fervent hope that everyone, no matter their current financial situation, uses this troubled time in our nation to heed the wakeup call. A financial adviser, accountant or debt counselor can take you through the surface stuff, the jockeying of funds, the basic math. However, as a life coach, I am more interested in why so many Americans live far beyond their means in the first place.

What’s underneath the spending? What are they seeking? Status? Acceptance? A feeling of superiority? Are they fulfilling a preconceived notion of “success”? Is it about what they think they deserve? If the American dream for most people consists of owning a home, is that at all costs?

There’s a pretty simple litmus test if you’re trying to figure out whether you have a problem with living beyond your means and all that goes with that, i.e., compulsive spending and always wanting more: If someone handed you the money to pay off all your debt right now, no strings attached, would you wind up in debt yet again? 

Be honest. If your answer is an assured "no," then you’ve probably dug deep and learned the lesson of living more simply and treasuring what you do have. If you’re pretty sure you’d rack up more debt, it might be time to address the real problem.

Look at your life. When you head out for a dose of “retail therapy” or decide to take on a mortgage you know will make you house-poor, what is really going on? If it’s not just about the aforementioned keeping-up-with-the-Joneses mentality, then you may need to really take a hard look at yourself in a different way. The things we do to detach, get a quick fix and fill perceived voids are well documented: drink too much, eat too much, have reckless sex, do drugs, become workaholic, let our homes get cluttered, and shop using money we don’t yet have. They can all be numbing devices.

What is it you’re trying to anesthetize? Your rocky marriage? The fact that you wanted to be a graphic designer, you took the marketing track instead and now you feel trapped? Some sort of childhood inadequacy that now makes you feel you have something to prove? A stressful health issue in your family? The fact that you just turned 40 and can’t believe you still haven’t fulfilled any of your dreams?

Figure it out and address the real problem!

I had a recent conversation with some friends about a female celebrity who’s rumored to have put weight back on after a big weight loss with a well-known dieting company. My immediate thought was, did she address the weight or the reason for the weight? The surface issue or the core issue? That is an important distinction. Shifting the core is a process that requires more time and attention. It’s not magic. It’s baby steps.

Wouldn’t it feel like a fresh start to fix the problem for real? Even if that meant a change in your material world? Trust me, it would.

If so far you’ve managed to dodge any major repercussions from the recent economic downturn, revel in gratitude and by all means take a look at your life, all of it, and determine if you could withstand a crisis. If you’ve lost your job and are immersed in the worst of this disaster, take the time for introspection--not to beat yourself up in a woulda-coulda-shoulda way, but to move forward from a better place.

Once you realize things are just things, you’ll be free.

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.