Let me tell you how you know when someone is in the right line of work. They say things like this:

“I have really, really happy clients.”

If I wasn’t already convinced Kim Ades was on to something with her innovative approach to coaching, that statement set off bells and whistles. Especially because it was preceded by this:

“These clients are over-the-top crazy happy,” Ades said. “I have a guy who writes Oprah every day saying we should be on her show.”

Now that’s a sign of a highly satisfied client.

In the nearly two-year existence of Frame of Mind Coaching, its president, Ades, and her team have coached about 170 people. What distinguishes Ades’ company from most coaching programs is that guided journaling is used as a primary tool.

“Journaling is one thing that has been consistent over my lifetime,” Ades said in our recent interview. “It has created balance. It’s my way of expressing myself. When certain situations come up, it’s my way of redirecting myself.”

While that’s on a personal note, her idea for Frame of Mind Coaching was also prompted by professional experience. According to her Web site bio, from 1995-2005, Ades was the founder and president of Upward Motion and is “well known for dramatically penetrating the international real estate industry with a product called the Real Estate Simulator, a web-based assessment tool for the recruitment, selection and training of top performing real estate agents.”

“We tested hundreds of thousands of people,” Ades said. “The most significant differentiator was emotional resilience. People with more emotional resilience achieved more outstanding goals, went the distance. They had the ability to overcome adversity, to process adversity.”

It’s worth mentioning that Ades has some firsthand knowledge of adversity. Her business partner in Upward Motion was her now-ex-husband.

“Everything my identity was attached to just blew up,” Ades said of her divorce after 15 years of marriage. “But then I thought, I’m me, I’m still breathing. I can choose to say I’m never getting married again or OK, let’s go figure it out. The world is a big place. Life comes at you. Now I can say getting divorced was one of the best things to happen to me.”

That was five years ago. Part of Ades’ shift in thinking came with the awareness that her Egyptian-Jewish heritage had instilled in her a way of life that required always being in service to others.

“My need for approval, acceptance came from outside,” she said. “I contorted myself to please my husband to get that approval. I made the shift that I can’t please everybody. It was a huge shift. I own my life. The moment you take care of you, you release energy that says, ‘I’m good with me.’”

Which, of course, makes you a better friend, parent, spouse, sibling and worker. It also illustrates the question at the heart of her program: How do you think about what’s happening in front of you?

“We have 60,000 thoughts a day,” she said. “What are those thoughts that are taking over? The writing helps us see it.”

While most coaching is done with weekly or bi-monthly sessions and little contact in between, Ades feels strongly that capturing the in-between time is key to profound progress in her clients.

“Most know what they’re supposed to do, but they’re still not doing it,” Ades said. “The beliefs they have slow them down. How do you know what they’re thinking? There’s very little in life you can control, but you can control how you process things. Journaling is processing – it’s right in front of us.”

Journaling became such an integral part of Frame of Mind Coaching that instead of continuing to use third-party software, the company brought software developer Jordan Ravka aboard to create its own version about a year ago.

“We received great feedback,” Ravka said. “That encouraged more features. Now I’m starting again, building a new one from scratch. The new version will probably be the most complicated software I’ve ever done. The company is having a great deal of success selling [the software] to clients, but originally it was not designed to be customized. Version two will have that option.”

It is just another layer of progress stemming from what began as Ades’ desire to run a pilot coaching program for real estate agents and to focus it on frame of mind. Her style doesn’t include a plan of action or accountability milestones.
“I have five kids,” Ades said. “I don’t want anybody accountable to me. Why should they be?”

“I’ve tried coaching without journaling and I’m not nearly as effective,” Ades said.

Instead, there are happy, happy clients.

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.