If there’s anything that brings out the whiny, envious side of Americans, it’s hearing when others have negotiated themselves a sweet deal.

Be it in reaction to athletes, entertainers, media personalities or -- right in my home state of New Jersey -- superintendents of school districts, the comments are peppered with words like “deserve” and laced with judgments of who has it “easier” or “harder.”

Can you see me rolling my eyes over here? News flash, folks: You created your life. So if you want to blame someone because it’s not exactly what you had in mind, look in the mirror.

Maybe you weren’t blessed with a lightning bolt arm that would land you a lucrative contract with the Yankees or a voice and point of view that draws millions of radio listeners, but you do have gifts, passions, options in your life. You had a choice when you picked your major. You had a choice when you took your current job. You have a choice now. For that matter, you had a choice to marry the person you married, to live in the home you buy or rent, to drive the gas-guzzling machine instead of the car. And you still have choices now.

You created your life. Really.You did. So maybe it’s time to take your disgruntled reaction to someone else’s wise decision and subsequent payoff as a sign that you’d like to make some better – or fresher -- decisions in your own life. What are you letting get in your way? Your perceptions? Societal perceptions? Geography? The opinions of well-meaning or not-so-well-meaning people who love you? Money? Time?

In The Artist’s Way, author Julia Cameron calls jealousy a “map” and writes, “Jealousy produces tunnel vision. It narrows our ability to see things in perspective. It strips us of our ability to see other options. The biggest lie jealousy tells us is that we have no choice but to be jealous.”

She suggests an exercise to get to the root of it. It consists of listing who you’re jealous of, the reason why and then an action antidote. Cameron uses the example of being jealous of Anne Sexton. Why? Because she’s a famous poet. Action antidote? Publish her own long-hoarded poems. In another, she cites her sister Libby because she has a real art studio. The action antidote? Fix the spare room.

Use the negativity that arises in you and channel it into something productive and satisfying. Obviously, some action antidotes will be more challenging or scary or time-consuming than others, but you get the idea.

Here’s a real-life case in point. According to superintendent Barbara Trzeszkowski’s contract negotiated with the Keansburg (N.J.) Board of Education, she is to reportedly receive a $740,000-plus severance package (nearly $200,000 in unused vacation and sick time alone) and a six-figure pension. I have been marveling at the people who have been weighing in on this by comparing her situation to their own or by making blind, uninformed comments that reek of jealousy.

Just to be clear, this is not about judging the validity of the contract or any of the murky political issues surrounding it – that’s better left to the legal wranglers. It’s about what the situation has brought out in other people. My thought was, “Wow, good for her.” I’m certainly not immune to jealousy, but this situation definitely didn’t bring it out in me. Instead, it made me wonder so many things. Would a school district be better served by someone who’s unhealthy or who uses all her sick time just because it’s available as so many employees do? Do we really want to be in the habit of not paying people in education well? Shouldn’t the disparaging comparisons of this package to a Fortune 500 CEO’s ‘golden parachute’ make us uncomfortable about what professions we value in this country?

But that’s another story, really.

To my point here, why does it take someone getting a good deal to make us see we can and should open our own mouths and ask for what we want? Because we’re human.

“Jealousy strips us of our will to act when action holds the key to our freedom,” Cameron writes.

Simply put, quit whining and follow your jealousy map. The life you want is waiting.

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.