With Election Day nearing, the pollsters are calling my home like crazy. It’s like a game every time the phone rings. Who’s next? I even got a call this week from a company inquiring about my knowledge of fake finger nails. Turns out I have no such knowledge. Do I wear them? No. How do I feel about the statement, ‘Fake fingernails can be classy’? Strongly disagree. (I know that makes me an anomaly among New Jersey women, but Adriana from The Sopranos I’m not.)

It’s the pollster that got away, however, that’s haunting me. I came home to a voice mail the other day from the National Organization for Marriage (NOM). Contrary to what the name might lead you to believe, it is actually not pro-marriage but pro-heterosexual marriage. I know because I was intrigued enough by the cheery message to go to the Web site. Apparently NOM is working on voter outreach in New Jersey and, well, it certainly brought the thrust of the anti-same-sex marriage movement more into focus for this voter.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am single and heterosexual. I have nothing against marriage, but do believe way too many people think it’s some kind of prize instead of a sacred institution. I have coached some of those people. That said, how I would have loved to have had that conversation with NOM. It might have gone something like this:

NOM: Ma’am, how do you feel about this ‘suggested talking point’ taken straight from our Web site?

Do we want to teach the next generation that one-half of humanity -- either mothers or fathers -- are dispensable, unimportant? Children are confused enough right now with sexual messages. Let’s not confuse them further.

Me: News flash, sir. Allowing two people of the same sex to marry isn’t going to make a hoot of difference to heterosexual children. But it will greatly improve the emotional and legal lives of gay children. Sorry to be the one to drop the big news, but yes, many of you who oppose gay rights have gay children whose health and self-esteem will be compromised by your lack of openness to their sexuality. Perpetuating a societal stigma that will not only affect your gay child, but those who he or she chooses to be in love relationships with, is kind of despicable, isn’t it?

NOM: Ma’am? I was just asking if you strongly agree or strongly disagree.

Me: I believe you insinuated yourself and your organization into my home this evening, so do you want my opinion or not?

NOM: Yes, ma’am. But …

Me: You know, you have me reminiscing about when I was a kid. Back in high school, there wasn’t a law in the land that could convince me to take my eyes off the sight of John Grochala’s hulking broad shoulders in swimming class. They were mesmerizing. My only “confusion” was why my gawky self didn’t have the confidence to do anything about it. Having Ms. Smith’s marriage to Ms. Jones legally binding wasn’t going to send me to fantasies of the girl who sat next to me in history class, let alone give me ideas of marrying her.

NOM: Well, ma’am …

Me: Truth be told, though, this is not really about the children at all, is it? It’s about some adults’ discomfort with homosexuality. Because, in reality, children are already exposed to classmates who have gay parents, to gay relatives, and to gay characters in television shows and film. Today’s children are growing up more open to other cultures, religions, races and sexual preferences because they are bombarded from every direction with images of our diverse, changing world. Most of them are not resistant to it; you and the adults in your organization are.

NOM: (clears throat) If we could change direction, please, NOM would like your reaction to a few of the “Seven Scientific Reasons Why Marriage Matters.” This is from the Catholic version. We also have Protestant and Jewish talking points.

Marriage reduces the risk of poverty for children and communities. The majority of children whose parents don’t get or stay married experience at least a year of poverty.

Me: Um, this is an argument FOR same-sex marriage. And kudos for embracing something “scientific,” by the way.

NOM: Marriage protects children’s physical and mental health. Children whose parents get and stay married are healthier and also much less likely to suffer mental illness, including depression and teen suicide.

Me: Another argument FOR same-sex marriage.

NOM: Just living together is not the same as marriage …Children whose parents cohabit are at increased risk for domestic violence and child abuse and neglect. Children born to parents who were just living together are also three times more likely to experience their parents’ breakup by age 5.

Me: Again, a really compelling argument FOR same-sex marriage.

NOM: Parents who don’t get or stay married put children’s education at risk. Children whose parents divorced or never married have lower grade point averages, are more likely to be held back a grade, and to drop out of school. They are also less likely to end up college graduates.

Me: Holy mackerel, I’ve heard enough. Let’s get these gay people legally married already!

NOM: (sighs) Thank you for your time, ma’am.

Me: Thanks for calling. It’s been an education.

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.