At this particular time in our nation, when so much focus is disproportionately on our material worth, there is no better time to take stock of what we should really be passing on to future generations: a rich legacy through story and shared humanity.

That is the purpose of ethical wills and I was delighted to have a recent conversation about one in particular that illustrates this beautifully. Truly, I could simply paste Beatrice Taishoff’s ethical will into this space and my readers would come away with a stirring message about how to create one’s life.

But some context is essential to understand the power and transformation that can come from this kind of expression.

First of all, an ethical will is not a legal document. According to the Web site, they “are a way to share your values, blessings, life's lessons, hopes and dreams for the future, love, and forgiveness with your family, friends, and community.” The site also notes that these documents trace their roots back to the Hebrew Bible 3,000 years ago and that references to ethical wills are also found in the Christian Bible and in other cultures. Barack Obama wrote one to his daughters before being sworn in as President.  

Beatrice Taishoff first learned of ethical wills upon entering Jewish Home Lifecare, a nursing home facility in the Bronx section of New York, in the spring of 2001. At nearly 99 years of age, according to the introduction she wrote to her ethical will, she was “barely communicative. My prognosis was poor. I lived with a death wish. I had trouble holding onto reality. My confusion was so intense that I stopped thinking, which, of course, had been the essence of my very being.”

This was a woman who pitched in and did most of the housework at age five, made education a priority and eventually graduated magna cum laude from the University of Michigan via its work/study program, and then attended Columbia University at night after her husband died when her children were young. And this only scratches the surface in explaining the workings of her fertile mind.

“When Mrs. Taishoff came here, she couldn’t even remember her kids’ names,” social worker Sandy Meyers said in our recent interview. “At that point she was severely depressed.”

That was a cue for Meyers and her people-focused approach or what’s referred to as “culture change” in the world of elder care. Essentially, instead of the “old” way of merely delivering services that sustain life, it’s about a “new” culture of infusing life with the joy of living it. As part of that, Meyers started working with Taishoff on the concept of an ethical will and had to work through some resistance along the way.

“She would throw me out of the room,” Meyers said. “It was a context in which to talk to her. She said, ‘My pillow is wet from tears because I’m still alive.’”

Meyers persisted and worked with Taishoff’s stream-of-consciousness writing, reading it back to her and fine tuning it for months.

“In reality, I find I can’t do this with most people,” Meyers said. “You have to be able to look inside yourself.”

Taishoff not only managed to reach back into her history, but get into the core of her spirituality and life philosophies. She was goal-oriented and believed that “one must creatively shape one’s life so that it is productive and satisfying.” Writing it all down proved to be a tremendous boost.

“It gave her a new lease on life,” her son, Sherman Taishoff, said. “It really gave her at least two and half more years of a quality of life I hadn’t seen in years. The mind she had prided herself on returned. There were things about my mother that I didn’t know. I talked to her about [the ethical will], used it as a springboard to learn more. My kids enjoyed reading it, too.”

Imagine the sustained joy, the relatability that comes from Beatrice Taishoff being candid about her despair and her triumphs via the written word. She was more than a century old when she died, but in those final years she not only wrote her ethical will, but Meyers encouraged her to do some speaking about the experience. Taishoff also published an article about it at age 100.

“It was a labor of love,” Meyers said. “The main thing about all this is that people feel they lived a life that matters.”

In a way that goes beyond stock portfolio and heirlooms.

As Taishoff wrote, “Life, no matter what the struggles, the perplexities, always has a value if you value who you are as a human being.”

Now that’s a legacy. 

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.