Home is where the heart is. So it's no surprise it's also where elderly parents hope to live throughout their golden years. 

But baby boomers increasingly are having to assess their parents' medical needs and ability to live alone. Adult children need to be aware and looking for signs that their parents might need more care than they are currently receiving, said Elinor Ginzler, director of livable communities at AARP and co-author of Caring for Your Aging Parents.

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Experts offered the following tips to help identify red flags that your parents might need some help.

• Peek into the fridge to make sure there is enough food, the right balance of food and that nothing is past its expiration date

• Check the expiration date on prescriptions and over-the-counter medications. Check the dose to see if a medication is being taken properly

• Look around at the house. Is it being maintained like it used to or is there evidence they are having trouble keeping on top of basic household chores?

• Watch your parents' habits. Do they avoid going up or down stairs? Are they not as social as they used to be because they don’t want to drive?

• Inspect your parents’ appearance. Are they able to bathe themselves? Are they keeping up with their hygiene?

• Go through the mail. Are they falling behind on bills or receiving more subscriptions than they used to?
  

If you start to notice some of these problems the best way to approach a conversation, according to Ginzler, is to start out with something like “Mom, I couldn’t help but notice that…” By using this approach, you can maintain your parents’ dignity and express concern for your parent.

With the prices of assisted living facilities ranging from $2,500 to $3,000 a month, according to Paul Williams, director of public policy for the Assisted Living Federation of America, choosing the right environment should be carefully calculated.

Below are key questions to ask when scoping out potential assisted-living facilities.

Certifications

All assisted-living facilities are regulated by a state agency, said Williams.

• Call the state agency that regulates and ask to see copies of inspections or any formal complaints

• Ask the facility for any inspection papers and certifications

• Ask to see employees' certifications and licenses
  

Medications

One of the main reasons people choose to live in an assisted-living facility is to help manage their medications. “A lot of people are prescribed a lot of medications to be taken at certain times and certain days and it gets to hard to remember everything,” Ginzler said.

• How are medications managed? Who administers them and what certifications do they have?

• How are prescriptions filled/refilled?

• Can residents administer over-the-counter medications themselves?
  

Levels of Care

You want to avoid having to move your parents again, said Joy Loverde, author of The Complete Elder Care Planner (Random House, Second Edition). “One move is enough for most people so during the initial phone call ask what level of care the facility has.”

• Under what circumstances would a resident get discharged from a community?

• How much time and how is the family notified of a discharge?

• Are they able to handle dementia patients? 

• Is there a doctor on staff? How many nurses are on staff?
  

Atmosphere

The social and recreational offerings of a facility are important and will often determine your parents’ happiness in a place, said Loverde. Talk to current residents as well as the family of residents and ask them to identify issues they don’t like about the facility. Talk to staff members and find out how long they’ve been working there. A long-lasting crew is a good sign, said Ginzler.

• What types of activities do they offer? Are any intergenerational?

• How do they accommodate religious needs?

• What type of complaint system do they have in place? Do they have a resident-advocate representative that speaks on behalf of the residents? Talk to that person.

• Is transportation available? Is it a set schedule or can residents make requests?

• What kind of technology is available to the residents?

• How does the facility communicate with family members to alert them of any medical problems or changes?

• Can residents order their own newspapers or magazine subscriptions?

• Are pets allowed?

• What is the meal plan? Is there a wide selection of meals? Are dietary and religious restrictions adhered to?

Payment Options

Family members don’t ask enough questions about total cost, said Loverde.

• What happens if a resident is admitted into the hospital? Is the residence bill prorated?

• What happens if a resident can no longer pay? How much notice are you given if a resident has to leave? Does the facility have a payment plan?

• Are there extra charges for transportation, special meals, activities?

•  Is a deposit required? Is it refundable?

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