So often we feel like we are defined by our beliefs, be they political or religious or philosophical. As we end 2008 and usher in 2009, I’d like you to think of this in a different way -- how your beliefs about yourself have defined your life.

Morty Lefkoe, president and founder of the Lefkoe Institute, is an expert on eliminating core beliefs that have held people back in various areas of their lives. He calls it “The Lefkoe Method” and it is described on his Web site like this:

The Lefkoe Method is based on the notion that all of our behavior and much of what we feel is the result of our beliefs. It is an explicit, reproducible technique that allows people to identify the beliefs responsible for dysfunctional behavioral or emotional patterns, and then eliminate those beliefs. When all the beliefs responsible for any given pattern have been eliminated, the pattern disappears.

For instance, if you believe relationships are difficult, then you’re going to go into them thinking that’s a reality. Ditto for beliefs like this -- Money is tough to get, I’m not good enough, I’ll never get what I want, etc. And this, of course, translates into why so many of our New Year’s resolutions don’t happen.

“If we believe something about ourselves, that’s how we’ll run our lives,” Lefkoe said in our recent interview. “You have to ask yourself, ‘What do I believe that has me doing what I’m doing?’ If you lack confidence that this year you’re going to write this book or article you’ve wanted to, you have to ask, ‘What do I believe that has me lacking the confidence to go forward?’”

Lest you feel like Lefkoe is preaching from the mountaintop or reciting psychological gibberish, know this. Back in January of 1985, he was on a plane to Los Angeles from New York when he started thinking about his life -- he was on his third marriage, felt needy in relationships, had frequent bouts of depression and experienced writer’s block regularly. Also, as a corporate consultant, he had noticed that people appreciated his advice but were often not following it. He started journaling about all of it on the flight.

“I kept writing,” Lefkoe said. “What do I believe and why do I believe that? Something felt different when I landed. I didn’t understand why it worked for three or four years. Those first versions were very rough.”

Lefkoe fine tuned his process and is a walking testament to it. His third marriage is 27 years strong and counting, his depression went away totally and he has gone from being a negative person to a positive one. Once he developed the method, he went from making $50,000 to $1 million the next year and now has a staff of four.

“We fought all the time the first couple of years,” Lefkoe said of his marriage. “She couldn’t stand my depression. I’d withdraw for days and she couldn’t stand that. I couldn’t stop it. Now I feel confident. I’ve eliminated a lot of beliefs. We have two incredible kids and they’ve used our process.”

Parenting is, in fact, at the heart of the Lefkoe Method. It is not about parent bashing or blaming, but about getting perspective on how a belief was formed so that it can logically be eliminated.

“Mom and Dad are critical in the process,” Lefkoe said. “If as a little kid what you’ve heard is ‘I’m not good enough’ from specific events, then you’ve assigned meaning to those events. Our method helps people say, ‘Mom and Dad’s words have no meaning unless I give them meaning.’ Events have no inherent meaning. You give them meaning and it runs your life.”

Lefkoe’s process has been used by people in 34 countries and he is particularly excited that Palestine is among them.

“I’ve always had the sense this could be used in the Palestine-Israel conflict,” he said.

While the Lefkoe Institute is located in the San Francisco Bay area, its work is mostly done by telephone. Its “Natural Confidence” program addresses 19 beliefs and four conditionings. To get an idea of how it works, try eliminating one belief here.

“The biggest problem people seem to have is a lack of confidence,” Lefkoe said. “And that can be traced to a number of specific beliefs. You need to find a way to eliminate the beliefs. [Emotional Freedom Techniques, Sedona and Neuro Linguistic Programming] claim to do this, but The Lefkoe Method guarantees it will do this.”

You have nothing to lose but a belief that’s holding you back.

Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.