Published November 02, 2011
Dear Kim –
I know this concept may be kind of foreign to you, but I am about to dispense life coaching advice free of charge. Sure, your name alone in the headline will bring web traffic, so that’s a form of payment, but I’m waiving my hourly rate because I need to impart some life wisdom and perspective on this debacle of a circus that is your life.
I know, I know. Lights, camera, action. You want it that way. You crave it that way. I’m feeding right into the whole thing.
Whatever. It’s in my face and it’s bugging me and since I have a penchant to want to process things and understand them better and, you know, help people see what’s right in front of them, I have to get in here with my two cents.
First, a disclaimer. I haven’t been keeping up with the Kardashians. For the longest time I’d hear your name and have no idea who you were. But then it got to a point where you’d have to be trapped under a rock in a cave on a desert island not to recognize your face that's splashed everywhere. Congratulations, I think.
Here’s the thing. You’re making a mockery of all sorts of things – fame, talent, love, marriage and now divorce. Divorce! This is a life event that upends people, sends them into a tailspin and spits them out. Some never recover, never trust, never lose the fear of loving again. You are willfully going that route after 72 days of marriage. Bringing in the lawyers. Splitsville.
Call me a master of the obvious, but I believe what we need to introduce into your life is the concept of meaningful living. Not as in ‘my life would be so much better if I acquired that high-profile, very tall guy or that impeccable Birkin bag but more like ‘my life would be so much richer if I treasured sacred institutions, love relationships and my potential to be a positive force due to my extensive exposure and reach as a celebrity.’
So many people wish you would just go away, but it’s too late for that and I know there will be a price others will pay for that anyway. When the 2011 NFL season was hanging in the balance, I didn’t sweat how the players’ lives would be affected as much as the guy selling hot dogs or the parking attendant outside the stadium who’s trying to put food on his table.
With you it’s the same concept. There are cameramen and producers and caterers whose mortgages and kids’ college tuition are being paid because of you. Not to mention those associated with designing clothes and packaging perfume with your name on them. Your wedding alone, your $20 million affair, padded the bank accounts and portfolios of more planners, floral designers, caterers, etc. than I care to count.
Who knew when we talked about the rich being job creators we were talking about the likes of you? Those divorce lawyers that are now getting paid handsomely will be able to sustain the housekeepers and the gardeners and who knows what other services with this infusion of cash. You could be on to something. Trickle-down economics, Kardashian style. Maybe if more people threw sinfully lavish weddings we could bring down the rate of unemployment.
But seriously, Kim, this recession, I believe, is supposed to be teaching us mindful living. Going forth with purpose, learning how to be in the moment, striving for authenticity – these are meaningful goals. No need to take a vow of chastity or poverty, but how about one of committed joy and compassion?
If you see Elizabeth Taylor as a role model, could we maybe work on cultivating the talented, spiritual and humanitarian parts of the late actress? Sometimes when people get married a number of times they are emotionally misguided or searching for some kind of elusive validation. You seem to be treating it as a lofty goal.
“Because I've always been very aware of the inner me that has nothing to do with the physical me,” Taylor told Jonathan Cott as published in Rolling Stone. “Eventually the inner you shapes the outer you, especially when you reach a certain age … But around 40 the inner you actually chisels your features … Life is to be embraced and enveloped.”
You’re young, Kim, so you may not get the full meaning of this for a while. But please, take it in. She knows of what she speaks. Learn from her lessons, but also her mistakes. The next time love comes along, think about the marriage and not the wedding. It’s not an event, it’s a commitment. It shouldn’t define you, it should enhance you.
There are all kinds of rumors about why you got married and then divorced so quickly. I hope they’re not true, that it wasn’t a publicity stunt. But doesn’t it say something that people who follow your career were so quick to believe that? Again, go back to Taylor’s words about the “inner you.”
You have millions of people tuned in that could use a little “going within” themselves. You could lead the way on this. And, yes, OK, you could do it on camera and Tweet about it. I’m a life coach, not a miracle worker.
Nancy Colasurdo is a practicing life coach and freelance writer. Her Web site is www.nancola.com and you can follow her on Twitter @nancola. Please direct all questions/comments to FOXGamePlan@gmail.com.