They might be big, but did you hear how they bend? It turns out Apple’s hugely popular iPhone 6 Plus bends. It actually changes shape under pressure -- sometimes just minimal pressure.
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Since I bought an iPhone 6 Plus myself, I was rightly immediately concerned. I discovered with little effort, I too could forcibly twist my sleek new purchase. But at least when I tried this experiment, the phone returned to form and its original shape. Maybe that’s because I didn’t twist too hard -- after all, I paid a lot for this thing. I’m not stupid. Then again…
Apparently other folks haven’t been so lucky, so I started getting concerned, wondering if Apple had a potential high tech Edsel on its hands. Back in 1958, Ford survived that debacle by quickly pulling the overpriced model in what turned out to be the onset of a mild recession. Bad look, bad timing, bad everything.
But that was then. That was Ford. This is now. This is Apple. And the two couldn’t be more different. For one thing, the same folks now who are complaining about this bending, are the same ones who were swooning, more like salivating, over this larger iPhone -- how sleek it was, how easy to navigate it was, how “cool” it was.
Then lo and behold, some idiot -- apparently quite a few idiots -- put this sleek wonder in their back pocket and are now wondering how it is the thing could twist up when they sat down. Really?
Earth to these idiots: don’t put an expensive phone -- any phone -- in your back pocket. Your wallet, maybe (see how it also bends back there). Anything else, no. I mean isn’t this just common sense? Of course, something as sleek and relatively thin as Apple’s latest phone, or any phone for that matter (I encountered the same phenomenon myself just trying to bend a Galaxy Note -- same deal) is not meant to be sat on. Few super-thin substances are when forcibly shoved into any tight or uncompromising position. Since that would be the case with almost any type of pants I wear -- fancy or not -- front pocket or back pocket -- do you think I’m going to tempt fate, or fashion? Doesn’t it just figure you needlessly compromise the structure of a product placing that product in a place it doesn’t belong?
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For the life of me I can’t imagine anyone placing an expensive phone in their hip pocket and not end up looking like an ass. And then getting upset at Apple because they acted like an ass? What does Apple have to do now -- put a warning label on future iPhone models that states, “Putting this product in a rear pocket may cause harm to said rear and said product?”
"I can’t see Tim Cook re-designing the whole thing and offering a Titanium 'butt-proof' model -- although some enterprising Apple marketers might see big dollar signs if they do."
Really? Look, some things just require common sense. To be fair, many back-pocket-technology fans tell me they’ve encountered no such problems with other phones on which they’ve pulled this stunt. I say they were very lucky then…because as I said, I actually experimented with several larger models smartphones and discovered I could twist them myself with little difficulty. To be sure, the iPhone Plus seemed more bendable than others -- but then again, my goal wasn’t to see if they could bend, just to confirm they all DO bend.
Apparently the big concern for Apple now is that a lot of folks are ticked off their iPhone 6 Plus bends way too much and worse, doesn’t return to its original flat shape afterwards. If that’s so -- and I wouldn’t attempt to go this far on my own model for fear of wrecking it -- then they’re stuck with a bent phone. And I’m now betting that if enough of them complain, Apple will happily, if not grudgingly, switch them out of their twisted Plus for a new, non-twisted Plus.
But I’m also betting Apple doesn’t go “too” nuts here. I can’t see Tim Cook re-designing the whole thing and offering a Titanium “butt-proof” model -- although some enterprising Apple marketers might see big dollar signs if they do. Can’t you see the marketing campaign now?
“The New iPhone 6 Plus Ass” -- “because no phone should ever cause you to get bent out of shape.”
Still, I wouldn’t be holding my breath for that one -- maybe just a swap, with a warning. I could see one of those friendly blue-tee-shirt helpers at all those Apple stores kindly reminding customers, “Remember, it’s a thin, flexible phone, keep it out of your back pocket or any tight pocket. Capiche?”
Frankly I think the real experts at CNET got it right when they properly put this bending annoyance in perspective. As writer Chris Matyszczyk aptly advised, a little common sense goes a long way.
“You’d imagine that you’d be able to feel your bones or chiseled tautness of your thigh muscles beginning to crush your phone,” he writes. “Perhaps, though, you’re so engrossed in your work that you don’t sense what you’re doing to your status symbol until it’s too late.”
Maybe this whole deformed digital dustup will spawn a new era of other common sense remedies -- looser jeans or looser pockets. Or as Matyszczyk suggests, “a return to the glorious days of the shirt pocket.”
It’s a tragedy so many shirt-makers have abandoned this quaint feature. Maybe seeing how incredibly stupid some human beings are, they could seize on this potential marketing bonanza and go retro.
Word to the wise, however -- better make those pockets big. And to be safe, only in the front.